December 2009
21 posts
need someone to tlk to.i cant deal with anything anymore.its so hard to pretend im fine and try to b happy all the time. im not as strong as i think i am..i dunno wut to do..i dunno how i can take all the pain away.full of bitterness.wish i can just rip it out of my heart..i thought the hardest time was over.
its gonna be 00:00:00 after 3mi…all i can say is tmr will b better:)
cross my...
one of the worst days.
so i was sitting on the train after tlked to lydia thinking nothing cuz couldnt think of anything. completely blank..went to target. got wut i needed. wondered around.ipod started playing “lydia”.blanked out. pulled out my ipod switched a song. another sad song..just as i started feeling lost i saw two skateboards..fml.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfu ck fuck fu ck fu ck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fkfck fuck fuckf uckf uck fuck fuck fuck !!!!!!!!y did i tlk to her? fuck fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfcukfuckfuckfuckfcukfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
freeeee!!:D
friday!!! haha done with skool for the yr!! :))
obviously just woke up.haha happy happy :D
the blur makes me wanna see it clear
but just when i reach out
i open my eyes
the feeling of loneliness give me a shiver
the sound of someone shoveling the snow
all the furniture seems to be in the wrong spot
and so am i
what’s real?
the blurry feeling the blurry things
what’s next? am i real? what happens after this?
the scratch on my arm
the L on my body
the ring in my...
phnaw:
its about us. i hate it. but i can’t stop...
“my life is so peaceful without her. i love my peaceful life.”
same ppl same convo different answer at different...
A month ago…
“when r u coming to ssa?”
“dont wanna tell u”
“y?”
“so i can surprise u :D bt i nvr see u when i come”
“well.bt if u tell me. then ill make it happen”
______________________
now…
“so when r u coming to ssa again?”
“Y?”
” just asking”
” y do u wanna...
“The best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature”
i always said she lived in her lies.
bt now im the one whos living in the lie
i always thought she misses me and know im the best
bt the truth is she hates me and nvr want me back
i always said i dont want her back
the truth is i miss her tons
i pretend to be mean. tht way she wont know how much i hurt
i tell myself im happy. give myself smiles and say its not a big deal
it really isnt.
i...
mmmmm get blamed on things i did do..awesome.i guess thts a good thing sometimes..dont wanna explain much..its still my fault in a way i guess..wutever
cant believe shes tht protective of her tho..everything she said is bullshit..fuckin lies!!
bt thx for leaving.
cuz my life is better without her
:)
when this kind of feeling occur, i always need to tlk to someone..not cuz i want them to pity me or anything..i just wanted hav someone there..so i would know im not by myself..tlking to my friends in china is making me feel a lot better..they kno me the best..no culture difference..they kno wut im tlking about..the only thing is they dont really know wuts going on here..so its hard for them to...